New Chapter

I’ve been trying to avoid this and kept pushing it back for as long as I can, but I guess it’s time to face the music. Here we go folks, I’ve got some big news! After I got my grades back in June earlier this year, I decided that I possibly can not continue in Khalifa University. So I made the decision I apparently should’ve done in ‘09, I decided to go to Zayed University (yes the same Zayed University that I kept making fun of .. okay I actually still do that). 

Before we go on let’s have a little flashback back to my senior year in 2009 *cue flashback effects* almost everyone in my class plus almost everyone in Abu Dhabi was going to ZU, and of course being the egotistical maniac that I am I can’t possibly go to ZU. There’s a part of me that knew somehow someway I would end up there but then I figured nooo that’s just ridiculous, so ridiculous that I actually swore to my friends that I would never ever go to ZU. At the time I was, to say the least, delusional! I was under the impression that my academic prowess would overcome any obstacles that were in my way of going to Khalifa University and becoming an engineer. Mind you engineering revolves around calculus and physics, both which I have no background or solid foundation in. Another point I should bring up was that I had no interest whatsoever in engineering and that I loathed mathematics, so basically the sole reason of why I went to KU was to satisfy my ego which now sounds very incredibly stupid..

Moving on to my first semester in KU, I was careless, reckless and I thought that I can ace everything without studying (which is what I used to do in school). Long story short I basically failed in pre-calculus and pre-physics and did ok in the rest of the subjects. I struggled with calculus and physics for the next few semesters but I still had a sliver of hope that somehow I’ll be able to turn my situation around for the better. I got tutors to help me at home, I started studying more, and even stopped playing video games for a while. I tried as hard as I can but I could never figure out how to get rid of my exam anxiety. I would solve any problem on earth with my tutor but when I’d take an exam I would just choke and my brain would freeze, it was like the cogs in my brain were stuck and just won’t move. I have to say that that was the point where I felt that I was the stupidest person on earth, I was unable to solve basic problems, I was … I was a failure. I spent almost 2 years of my life trying to move a mountain and that mountain basically jumped up and then came crashing down on my head. I was at the lowest I have ever been in my life both academically and personally, I was depressed most of the time and let’s just say I was in a really dark place..

After that I just had enough, how much more of my life was I going to waste on something that is not in my power to achieve? If going to Zayed University was the solution then so be it, I would’ve done anything as long as I didn’t have to suffer anymore. I got my papers and stuff in order and applied to ZU, even though they weren’t going to transfer any of my credits so basically I was starting from floor zero but it still beats being stuck in a vicious cycle of repeating courses. My friends were all supportive or I hope they were, and my parents were happy with my decision .. But still I felt like I was letting everyone down, especially my parents. My goal in life has been and always will be to make my parents proud. All their friends and relatives have kids who are doctors and engineers and lawyers, and I felt like I was a disappointment to them. When I was in KU and my dad would mention to someone that I was studying engineering his face would light up, he was so proud .. And now it’s just *sighs* I’m 20 years old, I’m lost, I have no idea what I’m going to major in and basically I’m this socially awkward good for nothing loser.. What parent would be proud of that? But whenever I ask my parents if they feel disappointed with me they say “no, we’re very proud of you and we love you no matter what, it doesn’t matter that you went to another university”, I really hope that is how they truly feel. My mom told me that maybe there’s a reason that I went through that university experience, you know like to learn a life lesson or something like that. I learned a lot of stuff for sure, my time at KU wasn’t a colossal waste of time I did learn a bunch of useful things. You live and you learn I guess..

So that’s pretty much it, I’m sorry if it’s really long or boring or has a lot of self pity but I needed to get that crap off my chest. It feels like a weight has been lifted *exhales* and now (or rather since mid-September) I start a new chapter in my life, one that hopefully has a ton of A’s and awesome memories in it. My bruised ego shall mend, life will go on and gosh darn it I will try to make the best of it!

Signing off,
Maitha The (Newly Humbled) Genius

(Source: smallgeek)

Weird Feeling

Have you ever felt that you’re dreaming when you’re actually awake? I know how confusing that sounds but just bare with me for a while. It’s like events and stuff happen in your life but you feel like you’re having an “out of body” experience. I felt that way too many times, I still do, but I don’t know why and how that happens. It used to happen a lot when I was in the 10th grade, and for the life of me I don’t remember anything amazing happening that year (other than the riot :P), so I don’t know the root of that situation or feeling.

Where does it stem from? Is it something triggered by something, or is it normal, or is it really bad? Okay maybe I’m over thinking this a tiny bit. But I’d love to know if anyone else gets this feeling, it’s like you’re there but you’re not. It’s as if you’re viewing your own life from a bird’s eye view, as if you’re watching a movie about yourself. I’m sensing that I’m not making sense anymore.. Probably because I haven’t had my daily dose of tea, but whatever.

The gist of it all is that I have no idea what that feeling is but I have to admit it came in handy a few times. It kind of helps with my social nervousness/awkwardness … BINGO! (yes I said bingo, I can’t believe it either) Maybe that’s why I get that feeling, maybe it’s because I feel very awkward and out of place at social events and gatherings. Maybe it’s the only way for me to cope with being in a crowd… Hey would you look at that, I just had an “A-HA” moment .. on the internet.. Okay now it seems silly, but at least I have a semi-explanation to this .. this .. feeling or problem or solution or whatever it is!

So I’m gonna go and do some research about this, but I’ll be back later with a “ground-breaking” confession-esque blog post that has no relation to this one whatsoever! Stay tuned!

Ten Things CM Punk Taught Me

onesilentcall:

10. It’s OK to start out small.

Most people don’t have fame and fortune handed to them.  You don’t start your career at Wrestlemania - you start in the VFW halls, where success is measured in blood, sweat, and a handful of people clapping when they aren’t in line for nachos.  And even when only a few dozen people are watching, why not be the best?  Take your foes to the limit and work your way up, and you’ll be so much more than that gangster hanging off the car at Wrestlemania 22.

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Human Flesh?! O_O WTF?!

What in the hell?

4th of March 2011

I bet you’re wondering what am I going to talk about, and what happened on that specific date. Well to be honest 95% of that day was a blur and I can’t remember most of it. It all started on that weekend, I was sick as all hell and I could barely walk or do anything. We go to Al-Ain (my hometown woot woot) every other weekend, and it happened to be that weekend. So we went to Al-Ain and I was getting worse by the minute, don’t even get me started on the car ride. We got there and I looked like a coke addict who needed another hit. I didn’t sleep at night and maybe slept for like 4 hours after 10 am, I think. Okay so it was 3 pm and my mom said “you should really go see a doctor, you’re getting worse”, my poor dad volunteered to take me and that’s when our little adventure started.

We walked into to the hospital at 4 pm, they opened a file for me and then they told us to wait. We waited, waited, and then waited some more. It was 5 pm and I still didn’t get to see a doctor. At that moment I felt so sleepy and tired, I was gonna pass out. From that point everything was blurry and hazy. You know how in movies when a character dozes off, and they show you clips or just parts of when he opens his eyes then goes back to sleep? Well that’s what I was going through, I remember bits and pieces of the time we spent in the hospital. I remember some kid staring at me, an old creepy guy who looked like he was about to cough up a lung, then the dude who’s supposedly cleaning up the hospital left a pretty obvious piece of paper laying on the floor (that really pissed me off). Then I remember seeing my dad talking to the reception lady about why is taking so long, and how come I didn’t get to see a doctor yet. He was gonna kick someone’s ass, cause it was almost 7 pm and we’ve been waiting since 4. They were randomly letting people in and there was no order whatsoever, and I sure as hell wasn’t having any fun sitting there like a motionless corpse. Finally I went in to see a doctor when it was 7 something pm. All I remember was that the doctor asked me pointless irrelevant questions, prescribed me a bunch of meds, and then gave me an injection on my hip. Now what I remember the most was the injection part. As you all know I’m a really paranoid person ergo I’m not a big fan of needles. When the doctor asked me if I would like an injection to relief the pain I was like “yeah sure”. The nurse went to go get it, and all I could think of was “I really should’ve asked them where would they exactly inject me” cause they usually inject these shots in the ass or something like that. So I was just sitting there consumed by my thoughts and then the nurse came back yaay *in sarcastic voice*! She gets out this really long needle and I’m like “where are you gonna inject me? Hehe *gulp*” then she told me on my hip. So I laid down and asked her “is it going to hurt?”, at first she said yeah then I was like “WHAAAAT?!” then she said “No no no no it doesn’t hurt it’s okay”. It’s really funny now when I look back on it hahaha!

We finally left the hospital at 8:30 pm and headed home, we basically spent 4+ hours in a god damn hospital! I think my dad and I bonded a lot that day, I love you dad! Of course the rest of the weekend was even more of a blur but at least I got better. So that’s the story of the 4th of March 2011, and I’m sorry if you were expecting some political or international story but the world kinda revolves around me so there you go.

P.S. I hate hospitals!